Oh, God...

You're so "My Type", it's making my chest ache.

My feet are cold because there's evil in my heart.
Merry Christmas

You should go now

Let's sit here, away from each other.
Talk to her, I'll joke with him.
Just Hello and Goodbye,
there's no room for anything else.
And when I go home, I'll wonder
what went through your head
and ask myself how
you managed to somehow
get on this side of the wall,
the side where nobody else is supposed to be in the first place.
Or did I allow you to come here?
Did I?
Why would I do that?
I should've known better.
The worst part is that you don't even know
where you are.
So, I'll avoid your looks, smile when your around.
Because I already showed you
way too much.
You should go now.

Memories

You made me hate you.
I now hate the sound of your voice.
I hate that you pretended to be so close,
just to turn around and act so cold.
I hate to see you, I hate the sound of your name,
I hate that I spent so much time and it was all a waste.
I hate that you talk to me like everything's alright.
I hate that you walked all over this and had nothing but yourself in mind.
I hate you because you caused me so much pain,
but I hate you even more because you're not even aware...

Inside

I feel all these layers melting,
I heard them in the background yelling,
I know I have eight more lives,
I did my best to swallow your lies.

I don't want to get older,
I would like to be softer,
I would like to be lighter,
I would like to be brighter.

I don't know your music,
I'd like to feel you acoustic.
I drowned out your stories,
I have my own worries.

I'm not shiny enough,
I think I'm way too tough,
I need to start making sense,
I want to forget the past tense.

Sundays

I'm sitting at the Tech Building in BCC and writing a blog because I'm bored, and because I'm also quite stupid, I came to class on the wrong day, so I'm basically sitting here until I have to go to work.
I was reading some mexican girl's blog and the bitch gave the blog some annoying background music that I can't turn off, so the shit was playing for like 20mins before I realized that I was the retard disturbing everybody else in the room.
But anyways, today's Valentine's day and I hate it. I hate how people think you're supposed to either be with "the one you love"... or miserable. I've never had a cool Valentine's day, except for this one time where I got unbelievably wasted, but that was yeeeeears ago.
So, whatever, hating Valentine's day made me remember how much I also hate sundays. Not a lot of people are aware of how much I hate sundays. I was once asked if there was a story behind why I hate sundays and the truth is that there isn't one. I hate sundays because they're boring, because everything's closed and because even though it's part of the weekend, it's only a day where you HAVE to think about all the shit you have to get done for Monday, which I hate as well, but not nearly as much as I hate sunday.
Sundays are gray days, where nothing really happens and there's nothing good on TV. If you sleep in, then your clock is all fucked up and you can't go to sleep early, which only puts you in a bad mood because the world expects you to be up and going and all hopped on your caffeine rush. But your sleepy and cranky because sunday fucked you over.
I also hate sundays because -in my crazy mind- they're like a leash: you can run around a little bit but there's something behind you that's gonna eventually pull the leash and choke you and tell you you can't go that far, because you HAVE TO BE READY FOR MONDAY!
So there, I hate sundays and now you know why.

For a second there...

...I forgot the fucked up shit I've seen and experienced first hand in my life, how fucked up my family is, and the ridiculous shit I've had to deal with since I was little. For a second there I acted like I hadn't lost my fucking innocence AGES ago.
I've been such a sissy lately. I'm not crying and whining about my "struggles"... I'm not a fucking rapper...I just remembered that all of that stuff is fuel and strength.
I was slightly disgusted with myself for a little bit but I think I'm back and better so...we'll see how shit goes.
That's it.